Speaker 1: 0:11

Welcome to another episode of Transformative Change. Today's topic is going to be a topic about you and me and everybody around us, about the roles we play and why we should stop playing, a topic that usually comes to mind when you speak with other individuals. You might not address it, but you feel it. It's the topic of authenticity. Authenticity is really hard to put your finger to, but in our interactions with other individuals, we get this sense. It is deeply rooted in us that this person is authentic. They say what they say and they mean what they say and for some reason, that instills some sort of trust. Quite immediately, we listen a little bit extra when people are authentic. So today's topic is going to be the topic of authenticity why it's important and how to become authentic. This is Transformative Change. That the podcast, which is cross-cutting, going through several different topics in order to identify and give you the right tools to drive transformative change in the world, a change that's for the better good, finding our purposes and then have the energy and the strength to fulfill those. Why is authenticity important? So I've already established the topics around trust. I think it's important to put this in a good context. So the context number one that I'm going to bring up is around friends. When you are in a circle of friends, hopefully, you trust them, you feel comfortable in their presence.

Speaker 1: 2:16

When we are put together, for instance in schools, in groups or people, there's always this game going on. We know it. It's especially when growing up, when we're trying to find our role in society, who we are. We have no idea of ever. Growing up, we're lost. Well, at least most of us. I were growing up. I had no idea who I were. Some people are good and really early, identifying who they are, what their interests are, but for the most of us we are still in our early years trying to figure out what's my spot in the world, what's my click, where are the people, the interests that I feel like I can be myself, and I think that's the topic that comes to mind Myself. When can I be myself? When do I not have to put on a mask so people perceive me to be better, just to fit in? And it's hard because we see young people, we've been them once and maybe some of us still are, at heart at least. How do we identify these things? And some people come naturally with this, I'd like to think that I worked a lot to become more authentic, to say words that actually mean something to me when I speak to people and speak from my heart and not put on this mask.

Speaker 1: 3:43

When we then are put in professional settings, we find ourselves having to play a role. At least, that's how it was for me. When I started working Working for a bank, I thought I had to play the role of the perfect employee ambitious, I wore the clothes or at that time, I always wore a suit and you show up and you can't always speak your mind, because there are power structures and there are constellations, and even if you don't like a certain co-worker, you have to be nice. But you also see the people that play the game, the politics around it, surrounding these settings, and many of us feel uncomfortable. We see people wanting to do a career and stepping over other people and just, I mean, it's not nice, is it? And we separate the professional from the private life quite significantly and when we get home we feel like, oh, now I can be myself. Some people work to live and others live to work.

Speaker 1: 5:00

I truly believe that when we've spent enough time of identifying who we are, we start blurring this line, because life's too short to only work to live. It's when you start erasing this line and being yourself, constantly aligning with your values and speaking your mind, people start seeing you in a different way. You establish this trustworthiness that you are an authentic individual. You are honest and transparent in your actions and communication and personally I believe this is such a good quality and trait in people we feel like we are able to take them at face value. People can rely on us and we have nothing to hide. We're not playing games. We're looking at the bigger pictures. We are not just yes man or yes woman trying to please. We can align towards a vision, we can execute on a strategy, but we also dare to speak our minds when things are not going in a direction or when we don't believe in the vision.

Speaker 1: 6:10

And people can relate when you are authentic, when you share your struggles, regardless how small or big they are. People can relate because they see you in your struggles and your challenges and your vulnerabilities. You are human, the humanity. When we see that in other people, that foster a sense of connection. And when we establish a connection with people, you are trusted and you trust those people. When somebody goes up, regardless if they're C-level or if they're working the floor at a factory and sharing those struggles. We want to help, we want to support and we trust that individual and it's about sharing emotions and feelings openly so people don't perceive you as a robot Because you can see another professional and think, wow, that person has really good attributes for being an employee. They work hundreds of hours every week. Well, that might be an exaggeration, but that's how it feels like sometimes. And what we really do when we see them as humans is we see their weaknesses as well, because no man is an island. Or are all man islands? Philosophical question and a sidetrack, but really it's about seeing that everyone struggles and that humanity that you share or seeing other people share makes better work-life balance.

Speaker 1: 7:50

In my opinion, there is also consistency around this topic, that authentic people. They have this tendency of being more consistent in both words and actions. Because the consistency comes from people aligning with their value. When you're not just saying yes to everything, when you actually say no to certain things, that means that you are aligned with your own values. And if you're working for a company and the company values or decisions sometimes goes against your own beliefs and values, you are still consistent if you act according to your values. That means you can trust the individual and you know what the response is going to be when you're having an interaction with them. But this is hard. This is really really hard because that requires you to also be vulnerable and also to take risks and chances. It is a safe bet as an individual to say yes to everything that you're asked to do. That's also sort of consistency.

Speaker 1: 9:01

But you put yourself on the spot by sharing your thoughts and ideas openly. It's like when you're sitting in a meeting and people ask for opinions, the majority of people usually are quite quiet, because just open your mouth in these type of discussions requires you to speak openly. But, end of the day, don't we want more authentic individuals in our everyday life? Isn't this the reason why we watch TED Talks, why we even watch movies, even though there are characters in there? Isn't this why we love good stories about people that have struggled, overcome these struggles? It is inspirational and it's also empowering, because you being authentic, speaking your mind, sharing your struggles and beliefs, requires you to be extremely strong.

Speaker 1: 10:09

Showing weakness in a sense which you can be sometimes when you're showing your own vulnerability is the strongest thing an individual can ever do. So showing weakness is authenticity. Showing weakness is a strength and I'm being a bit quiet here because I'm letting it sink in, because I remember the first time somebody told me that when you're showing weakness, when you're saying no, when you're openly sharing your struggles, if you're going through a death in the family, if you are having a divorce, if you're having some sort of problem, sharing that story with other people is the strongest thing you can do, because people understand and people relate. Because, at the end of the day, we are all humans and being human is not easy. We all struggle. So it's really inspiring when individuals do this, because it empowers others to do the same. It's okay not to be perfect. Constantly Be true to oneself and pursue your passions, because that will encourage others to do the same. And this is really what transformative change is about inspiring others to do the same as well.

Speaker 1: 11:42

And doing this also makes you overcome the barrier of sharing these things. When you're working on being authentic, it increases your self-esteem and sense of self-worth because you accept and express yourself. You will start feeling more confident. So by showing and telling and inspiring, you get more confident and positive about who you are, and it's really also about the communication part. You become much better at communicating when you're open and honest and speaking your mind. Having recorded now a couple of these podcasts, what I've learned is when I speak freely from my mind, I realize my communication also becomes much better, and the more I do it, the better I become at it.

Speaker 1: 12:44

So this is really also the key of building strong and positive relationships, and what happens is this might not be attractive for everyone, but people that are like-minded individuals. They will come to you, they will share their stories, they will discuss their values, beliefs. There will be more meaningful and fulfilling connections for you when you're being authentic, because people that appreciate authenticity. They will come to us with you and you will strongly have a positive influence on the transformative change in the world, because this is what it's all about in the end. We are driving a better society by being authentic. When we are taking down the masks and the roles that we are playing. It is just amazing. By working on yourself and working on your authenticity, you help others. I know it's a mind blown in this and it's really. You can positively influence the people around you with this and more people become authentic and we drive a better society all together.

Speaker 1: 14:01

Authenticity doesn't mean that you don't have any flaws or never make mistakes. It's quite the opposite, because when you are authentic, you are usually much more aware of your own imperfections and you are willing to say yes, I'm not good at this in front of other people. And what that means is when you acknowledge, when you talk about it, you also start driving that change on the awareness, because that's always the first step towards improving yourself. So being authentic really means being true to oneself. No, I'm not good at this, and that's okay, but I can work on it. You can strive for personal growth and self improvement. No-transcript. Genuine, self-aware approach to life tends to resonate a lot with other people and, end of the day, you start building stronger relationship with people that are on the same path. So what can you do, then, to become more authentic, both in your communication but with yourself? So I've already mentioned a few of these things, but I will try to make it more concrete in this next step Self-awareness.

Speaker 1: 15:19

People that are not self-aware, they have a hard time being authentic. It really starts by getting to know yourself better. Spend time reflecting what are your values, what are your beliefs, strengths, weaknesses and what truly matters to you, what instills some sort of feeling in you sense of injustices, for instance? The self-awareness is really the foundation of authenticity, and I've talked about the other here part in a few podcasts. But it's about your values. Determine what values are most important to you, the principles and beliefs that guide your decision and actions, so when you're self-aware, you can start doing this. Live according with these values.

Speaker 1: 16:14

Don't make things up just because it sounds good that I should do this or I should do that. No, what is really important for you? What is it that you want to spend time to? Is it improving yourself? Is it your family? Is it other people? Is it helping people that are less fortunate than yourself? And then also look into yourself.

Speaker 1: 16:37

Embrace that you're unique. Recognize that you're an individual. Don't compare yourself with others. You, of course, have role models that you can look up to and that can support you where you want to go, but you will never be the same as another individual. Have them purely as role models and examples of what you want to do. Have the set of experience and perspective and talent that you have and embrace this individuality wright into. Conform to others' expectations. Accept the things that you cannot change. Accept yourself the way you are, with both your strength and your weaknesses. It's important to be kind to yourself and don't criticize yourself. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. It's okay. We can work on it. We have different opportunities and different situations here in life.

Speaker 1: 17:34

Just be honest with yourself, because authenticity requires you to be truthful to yourself. Don't lie to yourself and others For that matters. Acknowledge your feelings, thoughts and desires, even if they might be uncomfortable or challenging. Have clear boundaries in all of this. What is it that you need? Establish and maintain healthy boundaries In all of your relationships, both professional and private one, because this will help you to maintain both sanity and authenticity, because you're protecting your own needs and values.

Speaker 1: 18:14

Express more. Share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, opening with others. You don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes you can say I don't know, but this is how I resonate. Be open and communicative, because authenticity involves being honest and transparent in your communication. Surround yourself with the right people. By being authentic, you will start drawing people that are attracted by this in. This is really what it's all about.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Pay attention to how you feel in different situations, because it's about making mistakes. It's from the mistakes that we learn. I've done hundreds of thousands of different mistakes. I've been people-pleasing, I've been criticising. I evaluate it and I learn from it and I become better. So all of these together is about making mistakes, testing, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and learning. Make mistakes, go back and learn more. It's just like shipping software. Do it fast, do it quickly, get the feedback, adjust towards your values and belief and communicate what your learnings are.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Take risks as well. Lives too short to play everything safe. If you feel like you're in a job or position or climbing a ladder that you don't want to climb, it's better to be in the beginning of a ladder that you want to climb than in the middle of one. You don't Take a risk. Change job, change everything around you that you can change if you're not happy with it. Try new things, have communication and express this to the people that are affected by your decision. I'm doing this because take risks.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Work continuously on these topics, because it's never going to stop. It's your life and it's ending one day at a time and on a long enough timeline. The survival rate of everyone is zero, so make the most out of this time. Work on yourself, be the best you and acknowledge that this is an ongoing journey. Continuously reassess and refine your understanding of yourself, your values and your action, because you're not the same person as when you were 10, 20, 30, 40 and you're not going to be the same in 50, 60, because you constantly learn, you constantly change.

Speaker 1: 20:47

But maintain yourself in all of this and be aware and authentic to yourself and to other. Becoming authentic is really a personal journey and it will take time and it will never end. Remember that authenticity doesn't mean being inflexible or rigid. Quite the opposite. It's about being true to your evolving self, while still adapting to different situations and learning from life's experiences. Authenticity is so cool that's what I can say about it because it's something that attracts me quite significantly and it's an ongoing journey constantly, and I hope this picked your brain a little bit and gave you a thought to true. I hope you enjoyed this episode. This is definitely a topic we can speak a lot more about and will definitely do in the future. If you liked this episode, make sure you subscribe and listen into the next one coming out in another week. Until then, take care.