Speaker 1: 0:12

Hello and welcome back to another episode and another day in the life of transformative change. Today we're going to talk about a topic that happens to each and every one of us sometimes. I definitely know it happened to me. We're going to talk about a thing that might affect your well-being and might affect how you are handling certain situations. If you guessed it already, good for you. So today's topic is going to be around stress.

Speaker 1: 0:52

I always thought that I was very protected from stress. I think it's very hard for some people I can only talk from my own experience to actually identify when you're stressed. I think the people around us are the one that usually see the effects of stress the most and the best they try to tell us, but when we're in the middle of it and it's too much for us, we have a hard time handling it. It only adds to our stress sometimes when people tell us that this might not be working out what's happening. It looks like you're not doing alright Because in the moment we are so caught up with trying to solve the problems at hand, the factors that are actually causing us to be stressed in the first place. If we're having financial issues, if we're having work related or family issues. We are too much in it. When our manager or boss tells us to do something, we run and we run until we hit a brick wall. I think I've gone through different stages in my life. I've encountered stress in different situations and I think I've been able to build up a certain level of well, not certain level, but a tolerance around it. When I compare to, for instance, my mother or other people in my closest family, I realize that we handle stress differently. If you're not exposed to certain situations, it might from time to time be very hard to maintain a certain level of stress or tolerance against stress. That's what we're going to deep dive today, but first, before we go further, I would like to make just a short remark on what we are doing here.

Speaker 1: 2:58

This is the podcast Transformative Change. Transformative change is a major shift in an environment that significantly changes its characteristics or outcome. This type of change brings about deep and lasting transformations that fundamentally change the way things are done, the way people think or view certain situations, or the direction in which a society or organization is headed. The goal of transformative change is to improve the overall well-being of individuals and communities, or to address systematic problems or inequalities, and in this podcast we will digest cross-cutting topics that are needed to drive a transformational change in the world. No areas are off-limit and the purpose is really to help you in your journey towards creating long-lasting impact. How on earth are we ever going to be able to have some sort of impact in the world? We have an idea, we've found our purpose and we're really excited about it that stress hits us.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So this episode today is really about diving a little bit, scratching the surface of how we can handle stress, build up some sort of resilience against it, identify it early and potentially work on some different strategies in order to keep it at bay, Because there is really nothing saying that stress in the right amount is something bad. Actually quite the opposite. There are several research reports that identify a little bit of stress keeps you on your toes, and that's probably fine, because it probably comes from the evolutionary perspective, where we needed to be up to date. We needed to be able to spot certain things in nature dangers. We needed to be on our toes. So a little bit of stress is good. It's when it becomes too much, too overwhelming, it becomes too hard for us. Sometimes we start seeing the physical factors in us, we start getting headaches, high blood pressures, heart diseases. We might see some psychological symptoms as anxiety, depressions and less job satisfaction, or we might have behavioral symptoms as an output of stress, which might be loss of productivity. We might be a little bit more absent or disconnected and we might just quit our jobs because of these things. So what and how do we understand stress? And I think for me, stress is really about when you are at the stage.

Speaker 1: 5:59

So let me take a story. This was early of the pandemic when COVID hit us. I was working for H&M and I basically already had two jobs going into the pandemic. On the one hand side, I was leading and building up the AI teams. We were around 150 something at that point in the different teams around me that we were driving and generating value. At the same time, I was also appointed as head of the tech transformation of the organization. So basically, having two different jobs at the same time, it was a major transformation. Thousands of people were involved in it and I was leading it and really trying to do my best, and I think one of those jobs would have been enough for anyone, but I didn't want to be just anyone. I wanted to prove myself. It was important. I wanted to push my boundaries.

Speaker 1: 7:06

And then, in the middle of those two large assignments, the pandemic hit and everything was just turned over. I was in meetings from seven o'clock in the morning until seven o'clock in the evening, every single day for about a year. I didn't have time to fix myself even. I could see my beard was growing longer and longer and my hair was. I basically were just sitting in a room in front of a computer trying to fix the world, and it went so far that I didn't have time for anything, and it was the first thing I thought about when I was waking up and it was the last thing I thought about when I was going to bed.

Speaker 1: 7:59

I was not in a good state and I think that not being in a good state led me to. I didn't have time to work out. I didn't have time to go for walks, to eat properly, get the right nutrition. I was losing weight, I was unhealthy, I didn't feel well and at the same time, my overall well-being was going down, and I think that was caught me into the thinking of self-development. It led up after a few months to why and how or what am I doing this for? I didn't feel that it was worth doing it for somebody else. What type of higher purpose was I serving at that point? Why were I spending my health and my well-being to fulfill somebody else's vision?

Speaker 1: 9:01

And I think that was the key word for me in identifying the stress factors, because that was stress. It wasn't the same type of stress as oh, I have an exam when I was in university. Of course, that was stressful in itself, but that always went over. This was almost chronic stress. It didn't matter how much money or salary I was being offered or what type of promotion, because under the day, what it led me to was to start identifying what is it that I want to do? Who am I as a person? What's important for me? And that type of stress made it for me into such a state where I once and for all took the decision this is not the life I want to live.

Speaker 1: 9:50

So stress at that point led me to take a drastically decisions. I saved up enough money and I took a chance and I resigned. I was offered promotions, but I said no, thank you, I'm not interested. It's time for me to discover what my purposes are. It is time for me to decide what I'm going to do in the future. And after that, there was no turning back. I resigned and I started working on myself, and that's over two years now since that happened, and I think that's what we need to do in order to mitigate stress. I think it was do something new or do something differently compared to what you're doing today. Otherwise, what will happen is that you will sacrifice yourself and life's too short for that and that was really what I came out with.

Speaker 1: 10:50

And that was a stress during a very long period of my life. And I'm thinking back more to what kind of situations have I been stressed in? Of course, financial situations, being a sole provider for many years as well. Having family situations, having topics, for instance, with my mother. We didn't agree for a very long time. It caused me a lot of stress. We didn't talk to each other for five, six years and it's back there at the back of your head and you know you should be better, you should be older, more mature, but it causes you a bit of stress. You don't feel well. You're not living in the present, which is one of the strategies when you read these self-help books around, stress that you need to live in the present and practice mindfulness, and, on top of that, financial issues I mean, of course, financial issues is do you have food on your table? Luckily, I haven't had those type of problems since I was a kid, but now it's a grown up. But having the financial responsibility it is tough sometimes and I think people don't always realize it.

Speaker 1: 12:08

And being in high stress jobs I think I've been in high stress jobs ever since I was around 24, 25. It builds up a tolerance over the years but, as I just explained, for me personally it had to come to an extreme, having those two jobs in order for me to take something. And I also had bad managers throughout my careers. Of course, and I think one of the sayings I like really much is that people don't leave companies, they leave managers, and it's so right, because I've had managers that has done their best, but they pushed in the wrong directions. They have given unclear guidance. I think, especially when I was early on, I didn't understand this and I was working with managers when I was working within a cards organization that they had no idea what good leadership was. And that's also you have to look really careful for when you pick a position or when you're working on yourself. You need to find somebody that you can look out to. That helped you grow as an individual.

Speaker 1: 13:21

To minimize the stress as well. I've hired quite a much in my career I think I've interviewed over 3,000 people and it's also about being a match. It is hard to find a manager that matches you, and one story I have around that is when I actually interviewed for H&M and the manager at that time he was visionary that the person that interviewed me, but it wasn't everybody's vision, which became quite clear. He said I want to hire you, but I'm not going to give you a title and I'm going to hire more people similar as you and you are going to produce and you're going to build this up, and it's basically just the person that's still around that gets promoted to the head up and a lot of people couldn't handle that. He told me later on and I loved it because I love the unclarity, being able to take responsibility and drive towards a common goal. I love that, but it's not for everyone. I realized that when I've interviewed people as well.

Speaker 1: 14:34

A lot of people get stressed. Some people thrive, some people love it when there is no clear guidance, when there are discussions and you want them to take the decisions and help you. And it's part of my core philosophy that I love having smart people around me Hopefully they're even smarter than I am because then they can tell me what to do. I don't create clear processes. I leave it up to the people that work for me to create these processes and convert to suggestions. But it's so unusual for people so they get stressed. So you can really see that some people and I employed a few of them and they couldn't handle it and I probably was the worst manager they ever had because I wasn't present. I didn't give them 100% directions and I always said what do you think? And that's really about yourself.

Speaker 1: 15:29

What causes stress with you? And I think stress also boils down to being outside of your comfort zone for too long, and it's really about finding that little bit of stress that makes you grow and then you realize I can take more of it. I can take more of it. So stress and uncomfortable situation I think they go hand in hand and it's really about individual differences and knowing yourself, feeling the signals. When am I getting stressed? When I'm getting these psychological symptoms. When am I getting these physiological symptoms or behavioral symptoms? What are our individual differences and how do you handle stress and what strategies do you have to minimize it, have it in a maintainable level? I think that's the key question when it comes to this, and it's so interesting and it makes me just want to understand myself even more.

Speaker 1: 16:32

I remember the first time I started a company and I was so stressed when I was going to hand in the VAT report I have no idea how to do it and I was up all night and I was googling and I was calling and I was like super stressed. And then I managed to do it and nothing happened. And I did it again and I was late one time. Nothing happened. And then I did it again and again. And today's the easiest thing in the world. I remember the first time I got into a car and I was supposed to drive and I was 16. Oh, I was so stressed. Everything was moving so fast. Am I going to go up on the highway? And now I do it every day and it's so easy.

Speaker 1: 17:15

We get used to things, we build up a tolerance level, so it's important to remember that not everyone has built up the same tolerance level as you and it's important to understand yourself on how to build up this tolerance level and I really think that being in the moment, regulate your emotions, having a positive self-talk to yourself, focus on the gratitude, finding joys around these things is important, so that is all. There are biological mechanism behind stress. We have to understand that we can't be in it always. We need to take the moments to recoup. We need to take the moments to be relaxing and I'm sitting here saying it's the easiest thing in the world and it's not. It's super hard. One thing I've been super bad at in my life and caused me a lot of stress is putting clear boundaries, leading properly in what I need and also listening to myself.

Speaker 1: 18:28

There are bad long-term effects of stress if we're in it for too long. We need to develop proper stress management techniques. We need to exercise and we need to relax. We need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Proper diet and sleep habits. If we're in it right now, at least affect the things we can affect. Don't stay up all night Just because you need to regain a bit of independence or freedom. If your entire day is occupied with work, I know it feels better, but it's just gonna have worse long-term effects on you. Get help and don't be afraid to seek professional help in this either. There are coaches, there are therapists out there that specializes in stress and the symptoms and how we can handle it.

Speaker 1: 19:23

We have to recognize that we are only humans and if we can reframe stress, I think that's also a good thing. Reframing it to being a more helpful response, the biological response, and it can enhance the performance and the growth in the proper amounts, cultivate the mindset that embraces stress as an opportunity for learning and development, building resilience over time through both personal values. The more we're aligned with the things we're doing, with our personal values, and the more aligned we are with the purpose. I had this discussion the other day with my girlfriend and we were really discussing, and my point in that discussion was if we're aligned, if we're working hard and the things we're working for are aligned with our purpose and our values, I at least don't feel as negatively impacted. But when we're not aligned, we're doing something work-wise which we don't understand the purpose or how it aligns with our values, then the stress hits much more.

Speaker 1: 20:39

I think we really need to find a proper balance in all of this and, once more, who am I to talk, because I've been so bad at it, but I think what I've been good at is at least to avoid the burnout, and that's the final step of this. And this is real. How are we going to drive any transformative change if we take the world's problem on our shoulders? And it's really about avoiding this burnout. That's important, so take that with you.

Speaker 1: 21:11

I think some of the tools and techniques that I said that I was going to introduce was how you can avoid it, and I think the relaxation response is really what we need to do.

Speaker 1: 21:24

So some key takeaways around that is, to practice deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or meditation to induce the relaxation response, and I think incorporating these type of relaxation techniques into daily reduces is really proven to reduce stress. And even thinking about going into some techniques like yoga. Nature walks is also super helpful for you. Find them quiet and peaceful environment to practice relaxation exercises. Consistency and regular practice are, of course, key to maximizing the benefits of some sort of relaxation response, and I think, now that we've gone through some of the background, some of the experiences with stress and also some of the techniques, we've come to the end of this episode and I think it's important to really focus and understanding what this gives you. I hope this episode was interesting for you and give you some more thought on how to handle stress and the negative impact of it, and with that I'll end this episode. Thank you for listening and looking forward to the next time. Bye.